It Might be More Than Just a Toy: Offering Stuffed Animals in Dementia Care with Dignity and Purpose –
In dementia care, it’s not uncommon to see a resident holding a stuffed animal. For some, this brings visible comfort — a soft object to hold, a calming routine, or a quiet companion during anxious moments.
But for others, it can feel jarring or inappropriate.
Staff and families may wonder: Is this infantilizing? Is this meaningful?
As with many aspects of dementia care, the answer lies not in the object itself — but in the intention, context, and personal meaning behind it.
🎯 The Montessori Lens: Dignity First
Montessori-based dementia care challenges us to do with, not to — to replace routines of passivity with engagement, and to honor the identity of each individual. Within this approach, every offering must pass a kind of litmus test:
“Is this something that an adult without dementia might also find meaningful or comforting?”
A soft item — like a pillow, a blanket, or yes, even a stuffed animal — can be appropriate if it aligns with the person’s history, interests, or emotional needs.
Relevance Is Everything
A generic teddy bear with no backstory may feel infantilizing or disconnected. But a well-chosen item can become a powerful emotional anchor. Examples include:
- A plush dog resembling one the person once had
- A soft cat that moves or purrs — for someone who always had cats
- A comforting cushion made from an old shirt or fabric from home
- A doll-sized version of a grandchild’s favorite toy
- A soft stuffed farm animal for someone who once lived rurally
In these cases, it’s not “just a toy.” It’s a bridge to memory, identity, and comfort.
Case Example: Mrs. Caputo and the Stuffed Tabby Cat
Mrs. Caputo had been a quiet resident for several months, withdrawn and resistant to most activities. Staff had tried offering various items, including teddy bears, but she politely pushed them away.
One afternoon, a team member asked her daughter if she had ever had pets. “Always cats,” the daughter replied. “She had a tabby named Tico who followed her everywhere. She even knitted a little sweater for him.”
The team found a soft, realistic-looking tabby cat — not a cartoonish toy, but a weighty, well-made plush cat with gentle eyes. When offered gently with, “This reminded us of your cat Tico — would you like to hold it?”, Mrs. Caputo’s face softened.
She began stroking it slowly. The next day, she brought it with her to the dining room. Over time, she became more verbal and engaged, referring to the cat affectionately as “Tico.”
“I used to think those things were just props, but it turns out it wasn’t about the object. It was about the connection it sparked. With the right item, it’s not childish at all — it’s comforting, familiar, and grounding.”
What to Avoid When Offering Stuffed Animals in Dementia Care
Stuffed animals can offer genuine comfort — but only when offered with thought, purpose, and personal meaning.
Using them as generic calming tools, without considering the individual’s history or identity, can unintentionally feel patronizing or infantilizing.
Even well-meaning gestures can send the wrong message if the object reflects a child’s world rather than honoring the adult person behind the diagnosis.
Avoid:
⇒Bright, cartoon-style plush toys – unless there’s a known personal connection — e.g., the person loved Disney characters
⇒Referring to the item as “your little friend” or “your baby” – unless the individual initiates that language themselves
⇒Placing or insisting the item be held or interacted with – Montessori emphasizes choice, autonomy, and consent — never pressure
When you do Offer Stuffed Animals:
⇒Ask the family: “Did they have pets? What brought them comfort?”
⇒Observe their response: Does the person reach for it? Hold it gently? Speak to it?
⇒Offer with choice: “Would you like to hold this?” or “I thought this might remind you of your dog, Buddy — may I leave it here?”
These small adjustments support adult dignity and personal agency, even in advanced stages of cognitive change.
Remember…
Stuffed animals in dementia care aren’t inherently infantilizing — but they can be, if not offered with care. When chosen and introduced with thoughtfulness, relevance, and respect, they become something else entirely: a source of comfort, a reminder of love, and a way to stay connected to the person within.
It’s never about the object or stuffed animal. It’s always about the meaning.
10 Questions to Ask Families About Meaningful Objects
Helping uncover what truly matters — and what might be missing. Not all comfort comes from large, obvious items. Sometimes, the smallest object holds the deepest meaning — a familiar book, a kitchen apron, a special trinket, a treasured note.
These questions are designed to go beyond “furniture and clothes” and help families recall the personal items that carry emotional weight.
Questions to Gently Ask:
- “Is there something your loved one kept for many years, even if others didn’t understand why?” – could be a toy, ornament, note, or wearable item.
- “Did they have any items they never unpacked, but always kept with them?” – objects that lived in drawers, closets, or nightstands.
- “Is there anything they touched or held often — especially in quiet or stressful moments?” – may include fabric, a pendant, a religious token, or soft item.
- “Did they have a habit of carrying something in their bag, pocket, or purse?” – even if they didn’t talk about it.
- “Are there items they might have saved from childhood – theirs or their children/grandchildren’s childhood?” – toys, art, books, clothing — sometimes kept as emotional anchors.
- “What object would comfort them if they were anxious or homesick?” – think of what they’d turn to during tough days.
- “Is there anything they’d ask for if they couldn’t sleep or felt unsettled?”
- “Are there items connected to their caregiving identity (parent, nurse, teacher, etc.)?” – something that reflects who they once were to others.
- “Did they have a favorite spot in the house with certain items nearby?” – a reading chair, sewing corner, kitchen drawer — what was always within reach?
- “Is there something we might overlook — that’s not fancy or new — but they would miss terribly?” – this question often uncovers hidden gems — threadbare items with huge emotional value.
Why It Matters
- These objects can’t always be replaced
- Residents may not be able to name or ask for them
- Returning a familiar object can calm anxiety, restore identity, or open emotional connection
Engage & Empower: Purposeful Activity Design for Cognitive Care
Previously known as “Creating & Presenting Activities Adapted for the Cognitively Impaired”
This newly refreshed session keeps everything participants love about the original — practical strategies, real-life examples, and tools that work in long-term care — while embracing updated language and a more empowering approach.
