Below is an example of a letter to the families of loved ones who are in a residence and, for reasons unknown to them, aren’t doing as well as the family expected.
If your care team uses the adapted Montessori approach, this letter is designed to help bridge understanding with families — especially when a resident begins showing behaviors that might seem concerning (like yelling, wandering, or refusing care).
It reassures families that their loved one is not being ignored or misunderstood — and highlights the thoughtful, empathetic strategies you’re using.
Dear Families,
We know it can be upsetting to hear that your loved one has been showing signs of distress — yelling, pacing, refusing care, or simply seeming not themselves. When this happens, it’s only natural to wonder:
“Is something wrong? Is someone upsetting them?”
Please know: your concern is valid — and we welcome it. You know your loved one in ways no one else does. And we want to share how we approach these situations, together, with care and purpose.
What We Believe
In our home, we don’t see these as “problem behaviors.”
We see them as communication.
When someone living with dementia shows signs of distress, it’s often because they’re trying to express something they can’t say in words — pain, confusion, loneliness, fear, or a need for more control.
We don’t ignore those signs.
Instead, we pause.
We observe.
And we respond with empathy.
How the Montessori Approach Helps
Our staff are trained in the Montessori Method Adapted for the Cognitively Impaired — a compassionate, personalized approach that helps reduce distress and create a more peaceful daily experience.
What does this look like?
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We offer choice, not pressure
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We adapt care routines to each person’s rhythm
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We engage residents in purposeful activities — not just to fill time, but to bring meaning
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We use visual cues, gentle voices, and familiar routines to create calm and comfort
And it works.
We’ve seen residents who were once agitated now folding towels or tapping along to music. We’ve seen care refusals turn into moments of trust — just by slowing down and offering respect.
One family member recently said:
“I used to dread the calls. Now I’m hearing that Mom is baking again. I can’t thank you enough for seeing who she still is.”
Let’s Stay Connected
We want you to be part of this journey.
If you ever notice changes, have questions, or want to share something meaningful from your loved one’s past — we welcome those conversations.
Together, we can make sure that your loved one doesn’t just receive care… they receive care that feels right.
With warmth and gratitude,
Your Loved One’s Care Team
Feel free to personalize this letter with a real example or sign it from your leadership team or care coordinator.
Learn more about the adapted Montessori Method
Why Choose the Montessori Inspired Lifestyle® Training
Beyond the Behavior: Managing Responsive Behaviors with the adapted Montessori Method
Montessori Dementia Training: Principles and Practices for Daily Connection
